Today was one productive day. I woke up to shower and get ready for work and I was on time for everything, I was even a little early for my 11 a.m. shift lol. Got myself a small iced cap to start off the day and wake me up a little. I needed some caffeine and something cold to wake me up. My shift was supposed to end at 3 p.m. but the manager asked me to stay an hour longer, but because of so many orders, I stayed a half hour longer than I was asked to. I decided to take a walk because it was nice out, and on the way, I saw a grocery store and decided to pick up a cake for mama’s day which is today. And I got home with the cake in my bag. My mother was in the living room and watching her TFC shows. I had the cake out on my bed and the icing was kind of melting(?) from the heat. I was soo worried and irritated cause my mother wouldn’t leave the living room. But finally, after 20 mins she left and I snuck it into the old Ice cream cake box that my almost finished month old birthday cake was in and took THAT out and replaced it with the new Chocolate cake for today. After that, luckily, I found salad and chicken sitting on the dining table and had a meal. Then, I knocked out, and had a really good nap. Anyway, whatever. Felt like writing that.

I’ve come to the conclusion that we’re never going to learn unless we actually feel regret. Regret is the main component of lessons. This is only because nothing makes us think more than regrets and obviously depression. I find that if I didn’t have regrets, I would not acknowledge my mistakes and actually take something out of them. Cause of this, I come to those depressing days where I’m just trying to figure out if a lesson learned is worth how I feel these days. Often time, I’ve actually said that I’d rather be ignorant and feel how I did before than be wiser and feel this way. Then again, I could just be wiser about it and try to make it a positive thing, but one could only be so strong ..

It’s close to 2 a.m. and I cannot fall asleep, so I thought I’d just try to get things off my mind through a blog. This is mostly cause my friend pushed me to do get back into writing. But yeah, anyway I’ll try not to be so vague minus the identity ofc. Lately, I’ve been thinking a heck of a lot about you. Well, actually, I think of you almost all the time. Is it so wrong to be thinking of you now that you’ve got someone else? You made me the insecure person I am today, the person I never thought I would actually sink back into. It’s weird, isn’t it? how the person you thought would ACTUALLY never get over you is the one whose far off and moved on further than you. I actually never expected it to hit me this hard. Some days, I just deny that I still have feelings for you, then other days I’m just constantly subliminally and subconsciously tweeting about you. I hate the feeling, but I’m so addicted to it. It feels so wrong to miss you, but even more so to not think of you AT ALL.